Thursday, December 15, 2011

The fast car!


I usually refrain from writing about personal experiences on this blog, but I just have to break the rule with this one! This is about an encounter I had recently with a very interesting autorickshaw driver.
Those living in Mumbai are familiar with the autorickshaw walas and how they form the basis as the lifeline of Mumbai. We are all used to the black and yellow rickety rickshaws and nonchalantly get into one and move from one destination to the other.

Well, the other day, my friend and I hailed an autorickshaw and presto!.. what do we see but a snazzy, state of the art vehicle,almost like a car! 

Features in the auto:    
                                 
 1) It had a bright light inside, as shown in the photo here:                                                    
                                                                                                     


2) There was a small video screen attached to the back of the driver's seat, with videos of  latest Bollywood
      





3) There were two high quality speakers attached to the back of the rear seats.





4) The seats were amazingly comfortable and were from a Maruti Zen ( Indian Car)!!!!That was one of the most innovative things about the vehicle (I seriously am thinking whether I should refer to it as an auto!!) . The ride was so comfortable, it hardly seemed like an auto!


                                        


5) The next amazing thing was that the auto driving handle was of shiny steel!Check out the pic below. It was gleaming happily under the light in the vehicle, as the driver was proudly exhibiting it to us!






6) The  BEST part and the thing which takes the cake is that, once we reached the destination and were quizzing him about his auto, he stepped out, shut off the ignition, walked a short distance and pointed his car keys to the vehicle and vroom...it started on it's own! It was remote operated!

We had the most amazing ride ever!Over and above the features mentioned, he also had a water bottle holder and a mobile charger!  I was so happy to see the passion of this person. I took his number and told him that I'll call him if I need to travel sometimes.

It was an amusing experience and I was thinking... this city is so thought provoking! Only in Mumbai one comes across this pot pourri of people! Who would have thought that a mundane auto ride would result in such entertainment? He also informed me that the newspapers that come to interview him but he was publicity shy and said he did this out of passion and to render a comfortable ride to his passengers. I noticed his smug and happy expression at our delight. 

Customer delight at it's purest!!











Tuesday, December 13, 2011

The peacock!


if you're a peacock amidst a flock of crows,
Stop dancing and learn to caw!

Wound bound

Don't fight a new war without treating the old wound 

The rein reign.

Don't pull the rein(s) before you start to reign!

The beautifficient!

‎(beauty + brains) talent= Vx, where V is the coefficient of volatility and x is the variable of explosion, dependent on degree of beaut

The Chatter matter

Sometimes we chatter, to hide some matter.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Do and Like

You like what you do only when you do what you like!

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Premonition

Don't treat the illness before it afflicts you.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

The Clown who is not

Are you a clown because you have a frown to drown?

Small towns and Big cities

Questions that small towners pose:

1) Are you married? What-not married as yet? Why?

2) How big a house do you have? Have you seen ( latest bollywood movie)?

3) How many children? What... no children? Why? When are you planning to have ..Big discourse on children.

4) Do you have a boy/girlfriend? Is she/ he from the same community?

5) Do your inlaws stay with you?

6)  Who cooks?

Questions that big towners pose:

1) What band of CTC are you in?

2) Are you looking at a leap in the next 6 months?

3) Do you plan to take a sabattical?

4) Do you have a partner ( for an invite) ?

5) You think a smaller vehicle would do for the work days as opposed to the SUV?

6) Are you planning to take up the job if it happens to be two hours away from your place?

7) Is it a 5 day job? Flexi timing? Work from home options?

8) Would you like to have a coffee break between 5 to 6 pm?

9)  Can you come home between 7 to 8 pm and leave before 9?

10) Is it raining / flooding in your part of town?


Sunday, November 13, 2011

Wrong filler

An empty glass is better than a glass filled with the wrong liquid.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Success

Succes is when you can afford to do nothing and still manage to live.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Resource

Waste time it's the ony free and inexhaustible resource.

The goat with the gold

Alas! When the goat gets gold, it thinks it's just yellow grass.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

The M factor

Mean men may make more money mindlessly measuring much more moolah in monstrous mounds. Meanwhile meritorious mavericks measure minutes in mirth, miles in merrymaking and myriads of mystical moments! 

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Fortification

Fortification saves one from mortification.

Do the Do

Don't do the do just to do the do!

Monday, September 19, 2011

Captive Creativity

Sometimes, captivity leads to creativity!

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Inspite of spite

Though this blog is supposed to consist of spiteful writing, I can't seem to have any new spite in my life. That's the reason I haven't come up with a long spiteful read in some time. Well inspite of all the spite that I have, I seem to have shed some of the spite! Or is it that I see so many spiteful things that I have got used to all forms of spite and have begun to take in spite inspite of the spite!
It's always a case when you see a lot of shit, you begin to believe in shit and a time comes when you cannot accept unshit and want only shit because you are oh so used to shit! But hey.. again, you need to see shit in order to know what is unshit! So it's a complicated scene.
That brings us to the core of the discussion..I have noticed that it's all about being and getting used to things in your life.When one is confronted with inferior sitiations, the first reaction is shock & denial, then anger, then acceptance and finally accomodation!

So what we have today is what we are used to because of certain adjustments that we made or certain adjustments that we do not want to make!
Inspite of spite we have to go on!  

Monday, September 12, 2011

Metaphors

Sometimes we want somethings but we cant have them.

Sometime we love somethings but they aren't ours.

Sometimes we show somethings but they don't reveal the truth.

Sometimes they want you, but you don't want them

Sometimes we get somethings but they don't stay.

" What you have, you don't want, what you want, you don't have. "

This great song by Andy Williams from the movie 'Love Story':

Where do I begin
To tell the story of how great a love can be
The sweet love story that is older than the sea
The simple truth about the love she brings to me
Where do I start

With her first hello
She gave new meaning to this empty world of mine
There'll never be another love, another time
She came into my life and made the living fine
She fills my heart
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/a/andy+williams/where+do+i+begin_20007907.html ]
She fills my heart with very special things
With angels' songs , with wild imaginings
She fills my soul with so much love
That everywhere I go I'm never lonely
With you my love, who could be lonely
I reach for her hand-it's always there

How long does it last
Can love be measured by the hours in a day
I have no answers now but this much I can say
I know I'll need her till the stars all burn away
And she'll be there


link below
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5A1KZKksGKE&NR=1

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Self

Don't give so much of yourself that you lose your 'self'.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Trash or Treasure?

Is your trash someone else's treasure? are you dumping or flaunting!

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Medallion

Sometimes an act of rebelion results in a medallion.

Friday, August 26, 2011

Tread

Don't tread where you may eventually dread!

Footprints

Every step leaves a footprint.

Swipe

As you swipe, so shall you wipe!

Friday, August 19, 2011

Pretense

Pretense is always temporary because the truth is just round the corner.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Gashes

What are scratches when you are used to Gashes?

Ruin Queen

Are you the queen because there is Noone else to crown?

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Parking lot

If you are constantly in the parking lot, you need to find out if there's place for you in the garage at all.

Quality

Quantity kills quality

showcased

Items that are only for display in the showcase may not necessarily land on the platter.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Temporary

At the end of the day hotels aren't homes! 

Oil

Those who oil more than toil are fated to spoil at the soil.

White lie

A white lie is as good as the truth. 

Temptation

Temptation is when you want to do just what you aren't supposed to .

Distractions

Attraction is a Distraction to Direction

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Mumbai in the rains

Definition: Mumbai in the rains is a city which takes the rains so seriously that nothing else is as important as this season, as long as the season lasts.

Some significant things to notice in Mumbai before, during and after rains:

Pre- rain syndrome in Mumbaiyites:

1) People keep predicting when the rains will come, why they haven't come as yet or how they have come earlier than usual.

2) They plan events or phase out events predicting and anticipating that rains will come.

3) They discuss how they will love the cool weather once the rains come and the heat goes!

4) They behave like they are just waiting for the rains to come!

During Rains:

1) The first day the major showers come, people panic. There is talk in the offices about how to get back home. Are their home routes under water ? Are their trains running or is there water in the tracks? So at least 3 effective working hours are lost in this! 

2) Media channels beam images of submerged places and reporters wearing raincoats shout at the top of their voices about how the government has done nothing and how bad the scene is! All this is watched by people from their living rooms, enjoying hot pakoras ( Indian savouries) to go with the rainy weather. By the way they are home because it is raining outside.

3) Heads of departments receive smses from their subordinates saying they are stuck in rain and cannot come. Of course it is another mater that many of them are in completely dry areas and snuggled cosily in front of their tvs!

4) But spirit of Mumbai not to be ignored, people love the rains and children and adults rush out willingly to get wet and enjoy the waters! 

5) There are rainy wear shoes and clothes at high prices and people make a beeline for them!

6) People come late to office, go early and take leave just because there are rains. Important meetings are cancelled at the drop of a hat in Andheri West, even when there is a deluge at South Mumbai!

7)   The very people who were cribbing about the summer and waiting for the rains now crib about how hard It's raining outside.

8) There is one section of people who wants to show that the rains cannot daunt them and get into vigorous activity organising monsoon camps and hiking trips ( hiking? in the slippery terrain?) into the nearby hills, saying how lovely the greens look in the weather.

9) Lonavala and Khandala are examples of world's worst traffic jams as people from Mumbai make a beeline to see the greenery there , only to inch in the traffic and come back inching in the evening without having any other sight except for the backlights of the previous car in the traffic jam!

10) People confuse between lakes and puddles , which arise in the middle of the roads, which become temporary lakes in the rains. In fact , the roads in Mumbai can  actually be defined as ' puddles which are connected by cement!' Puddle connectors!

11) People from very junior to very senior professionals are seen carrying umbrellas religiously. 

12) The motor cyclists wear a strange kind of bodywear which is supposed to shield them from the rain as they are riding , but which seems only to keep them partially wet as the wind makes it fly in all directions.   

13) If you happen to travel in an old chartered bus, be prepared to open your umbrella inside the bus as the bus leaks , and also be prepared to take the nonchalance of the people as they are oblivious to such things and seem to think that there is nothing to complain about a leaking bus!

14) Be prepared to see ladies coming in rolled up pants with unwaxed legs to work, and changing into smart stylish clothes to start work in office!   You would be wondering if it was the same lady you saw.

15) Some things common in rains:     
  •      Wet umbrella suddenly sticking into your arm from your neighbour in the lift!
  •      ladies squeezing dupattas ( Indian scarf) nonchalantly in the bus /train, as if it was the most public hing to do!
  •   Men wearing floaters to work
  •  People discussing loudly about rain affected areas all over Mumbai
  • Offices shutting down early for the day, for predicted bad weather.
  • If you hail from a smaller town, get used to getting lots of calls from your hometown asking if you are safe, as they see the repeated flooded images and hysterical reporters on tv.
  • What was once dry dog crap (hopefully not belonging to a higher species!!), now getting mixed in the flowing rain water, where you are about to put your foot into, as you have no choice!
16) The most significant thing about the rains is the traffic jam that comes along with it. People are stuck for hours on their way to and fro from work. They go through the same motions about cursing the Govt, and authorities and by the time they are through, they reach home exhausted!


After the rainy season:

1) People start cribbing about the heat and how nice and cool the rains were

2) People get busy to prepare for a season which they somehow call winter, where there is no cold weather!!!!

3) people pack their umbrellas and monsoon gear for the next year.

4) They talk of how they couldnt enjoy the rains enough when they were there!


Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Bricks

No point piling bricks if there isn't going to be a house!

Gap analysis

The gap between 'what you have, and 'what you don't have' is because of the 'what you should have'.

Slip of Mind

When the foot slips, it's fracture, When the mind slips it's disaster!

Wandering heart

Distance makes the mind wonder and the heart wander! 

Wealth

Wealth got by stealth may steal your health!

Friend

Friendship which is borne out of having common enemies, will only turn more friends into enemies. 

Say Vs Mean

If you say what you mean, you better mean what you say!

Seduction

Life seduces but mind deduces!

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

" Oasis"

Sometimes you take refuge in an oasis because the river that you have is like a desert for you.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Sanitised?

It's easy to sanitise a document of the logo, but hard to remove its value contribution.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Independence ( as opposed to dependence)

Abstinence is the first step to independence.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Provocation

If you dance everytime a tune is played, your dance may be a free showstopper! 

Predictability

Predictability makes way for usage. 

Saviour

Don't give floats to a person who needs lifeboats.

Commitment

Commit only to your limit.

Addiction

Addiction is the Prediction of Devastation.

Proximity

Proximity leads to Toxicity!

Deactivation

Tthe only difference between and Facebook and Reality is that , in reality, once you deactivate an account, you cannot start off exactly from where you left off!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Attitude

Too much attitude leads to solitude!

Nothing

Nothing is better than something.....which is worth nothing!

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Dog

A dumb dog is a more faithful follower than a discerning disciple!

Friday, May 27, 2011

Constant

D/Dx of ( x) = 0,

where x  =  2008 to 2011.

and x stands for Learning Variable. 

Sink!

He who thinks sinks!

Unrest

Too much rest causes unrest. 

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Resistance

Resistance is better than repentance. 

Monday, May 9, 2011

emperor or prince?

you cannot be an emperor when you aim to be a prince!

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Equilibrium

Equilibrium is when the probability of occurrence of same events is constant throughout a given time period.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Peculiarities about people in Mumbai

Mumbai is such an interesting city, that one offhand post isn't enough.

Let me throw some highlights on the people in Mumbai:

Definition: People in Mumbai are people who do not react to things that other people in other cities react to. E.g. traffic, travel distance, crowd, time , heat, rain, floods and local trains.

Types of people in Mumbai:

A) The SoBo crowd: This is the elite crowd. People from this strata live in the coveted part of the city called South Mumbai and have a cosmopolitan life. Mostly hailing from top notch MBA or likewise schools, They are head honchos in large corporates or owners of their own company. They are majorly English speaking, hardly speak Hindi and wear international attire. They work hard and party hard. Their hobbies are theatre, classy English cinema, English Music or French cinema, art exhibitions, music soirees, concerts and page 3 events, which are more of charitable or social kinds.This crowd is of mixed origin, South indians, Parsees, Goan, and a few Maharashtrians and other communities of India. This is a crowd with its own trends and is generally oblivious of certain realities of the lesser society of Mumbai.

Peculiarities of this crowd:

1) Neutral accent

2) International holidays

3) Expensive spas for stress relief.

4) Favourite haunts are Blue Frog, Hard Rock Cafe and Jazz by the Bay (tHEY used to play jazz there) and occasionally Hawaiin Shack or Zenzi ( the lower parel one) .

5) House parties as they have well done up houses.

6) Lot of open, frank behaviour between men and women.

7) Generally genuine natures as they are exposed to nicer things/ people in life.

8) Expensive hobbies like photography or art.

90 Classy taste in furniture attire.


B) The 'Wanna Be's: This is the bourgoeuis of Mumbai. It's a crowd hailing from simple middle class origins but fast gaining western lifestyles due to exposure to international culture through work and mall culture. It's mainly scattered all over the fast growing suburbs, kick started with the bpos 2 decades back and is essentially educated from second rung mba schools than iims and generally carreer focused.

It apes the SoBo crowd as they are the lifestyle benchmarks for them . But somewhere down the line its a confused crowd. This sense of confusion is reflected right from dressing to food habits as they are in an Indo western trap and often may exhibit poor table manners or grooming knowledge due to lack of exposure and also trying to adapt to sudden western culture, not used to from childhood. This crowd is full of relocaters and local Mumbaiites often hailing from small one bedroom pigeonhole families to proudly stand on one's feet and spearhead the family by buying a house in the suburbs and ensuring a decent lifestyle.

Peculiarities:

1) They have an in-between look between modern and indian.

2) Women in capris

3) Sunday mall culture.

4) Big family of 2 generations doing things together.

5) Women car drivers.

6) Intelligent men and women.

7) Growing divorce rates.

8) Favourite haunts are multi plex and malls.

9) Taste in furniture ranging from good to cluttered, and sometimes gaudy.

C) The Mumbaiiya Mumbaiites: They hail from outskirts of the city which are not in Mumbai but nevertheless struggling in concept to be Mumbai. This crowd has certain distinguishable peculiarities:

1) They are dressed in synthetic clothes.

2) The men wear checked shirts often with colours ranging from pink to onion colour.

3) They are local train savvy.

4) They are chartered bus savvy.

5) They entertain themselves in the modes of transport by cracking loud Mumbaiiya jokes with harmless innuendos, playing card games, and eating group snacks of the Mumbaiiya category which the SoBo guy wouldn't touch with a bargepole. (vada pau, samosa pau, dabeli, dhokla.).

6) Use slang like kantaal agaya- means bored, pagaar- means salary, dhakkan- means dimwit or fool, mamu banaya- means making a fool out of.

7) The women are a curse on the name of grooming. Dark lipstick, latest hairstyles done in cheap salons such that the result is a disaster, lycra churidaars bought from station markets, high heels with crooked walks, sindoor and mangal sutra with western attire,tight pants showing underwear lines and saree when worn, with blouses with weird designs at the back showing unbleached backs.

8) Common form of greeting is blinking the eyes with a smile and common form of asking someone to move out of the way is by making a kissing like noise, which would shock any visitor to the city!

9) This crowd is low on culture content but blissfully unaware of it. The main highs are national tv shows on Bollywood dances and songs and of course saas bahu serial and Hindi films.

10) Furniture is mainly faux Godrej steel almirahs and ugly dual purpose sofa cum beds. 

Thursday, May 5, 2011

The art of being shameless

Definition of "shameless':  " An adverb which means a quality possessed by people, which makes them see through and accept others' taunts and jibes without batting an eyelid."

Characteristics of shameless people:

1) They primarily belong to the loser category described earlier
http://spontaneisms.blogspot.com/2011/04/who-is-loser.html
2) They have half baked knowledge of things but nevertheless, want to take part and show off with their  knowledge as there is no risk of being discovered, as they are shameless.
3) They do not understand the jibes and pokes that come from people and sometimes pretend not to understand. That's why they are shameless.
4) They want to throw big ideas, but often when questioned about the topic remain clueless, but nevertheless, they carry on with the same techniques. It's because they are shameless.
5) They have the unique advantage of getting away with anything as any which ways very few reactions very few reactions affect them.They do not experience shame unlike normal people.
6) They are stress free as most stress factors stem from anticipated public negative reactions.
7) They usually behave in a pompous manner and talk a lot as remaining silent will leave them with their own realisations.They do not want to admit the public taunts and go on pretending that all is well.
8) They take part in baseless conversations.
9) They are occasion savers as when there isnt anybody to talk to, the shameless ones will always be there, whether you have behaved well with them or not.
10) Finally, they are great assets to organisation and, because bosses and subordinates both can ill treat them without fear of retaliation! They are great assets to the family for similar reasons.

Types of shameless people.:

A) People who are "somepeople" because of somepeople: These kind of people have usually arrived at whatever point in life/ work that they have, because of the clout or efforts of some other people and usually have no option but to be shameless, as they have to onever blige a lot and no disagreement is accepted from them.
They take shit with an open smile and think taking shit is their birthright.These types are found hanging around their bosses as yes men in the workplace and around their relatives / inlaws in the same role, in the family. they have never got respect in life and in case anybody gives them respect, usually in the initially few meetings, they cannot handle it and glow and gibber like anything!

B) Lonely people who are lonely because noone befriends them due to certain inadequacies: These people are clingers. They usually are self drivers but can drive themselves only to a certain extent, due to sheer lack of class, personality and competence. They are usually rude, shabby and unhygienic, for which they aren't welcome into anyone's company. As a result, they cling to whoever they see and gatecrash into people's groups. Because of being primarily people seeking but lonely due to lack of company, they cling to anybody and everybody. They take any shit and any kind of behaviour and pretend not to notice the shameful taunts.

That's shameless for you!


Eagle and Kiwi

An Eagle cannot pretend to be a Kiwi for long!

Monday, May 2, 2011

Mumbai!

Definition: A big Indian Metropolis which is so filled with buildings, people, cars and pollution that there isnt any space for everyone but still there's space for everyone and everything!
If thats too complicated, please read on:
Ask any Delhiite ( or similar other "unmumbai" city person) and he will say that Mumbai is a living hell, an urban disaster! Ask any long standing( 3 years down in the city) Mumbaiite and he will swear by the city!

Some characteristics about the city:

1) Traffic: This is a constant with the city and anything from interviews to marriages are pardoned if you give stuck in traffic as an excuse!

2) Road construction: Another constant.Ever since eternity, Mumbai's roads are getting made, so that there's lots of earth and filth everywhere next to swanky cars honking angrily away at other cars or pedestrians or just nothing!

3) Rains:A Constant every monsoon. One shower and you get stuck for hours and may even be floating for hours of course in murky water with other garbage spillages! Another thing which is heavily pardoned in the city!

4) People: Wherever you go you see people. Hoards of them.Constantly!

5) House rents/ prices: Unbelievably high prices for pitifully small spaces. If you have a two bedroom house you are a king and if you have a balcony to add, you are an emperor!

6) Crowded local trains: So crowded that if you get to sit, its fishy!

If Mumbai is so bad, why do people come here?
Why Mumbai ticks:

1) Its an "objective oriented" city. People are moving from one place to another for some work. Noone has time to waste. Being a very big city travelling is a huge thing and getting to and back from wherever you wanted to go is the most focused thing. So ordinary people do not have time to accomodate other things into their agenda!

2) People actually make queues here for everything!

3) There is order in the chaos, method in the madness.

4) People are not too nosey, for the sheer lack of time. They never get around to finishing their own jobs, so there isnt time to delve into someone else's problems.

5) People are exhausted most of the time by the constant traffic and long travel and bad roads, so much so that they have no time to focus on being really bad.

6) Cosmopolitan crowd: General tendency and exposure to a mixed crowd makes people more acceptable towards cultures.

Peculiarities about Mumbai:

1) Vada Pau
2) Misal pau
3) Long distances perceived to be "baju mein" or nearby.
4) Local trains
5) Filth
6) Ditches
7) Drains with clogged water
8) Drains with clogged water near swanky upmarket looking complexes
9) People completely ok with living in beautiful apartments overlooking or neighboured with dirty slums.
10) People ok with dipping their feet into dirty, murky rain water with loads of curious looking stuff floating in it.
11) People asking you " you aren't from Mumbai?" if there's something alien about you, but then accomodating you as you are nevertheless!
12) Absolutely no parking space
13) Policemen glaring at you like you asked something strange if you ask where to park your car!
14) Buildings, buildings, buildings!
15) Everyone in a "train / bus catching" mood. 6:15 local, 6: 15 dadar etc.
16) Mumbaiites calling themselves Mumbaiites and proud of it!
17) Clueless about the workings of other cities in India
18) Benchmarks, jokes, problems are all Mumbai oriented unlike other cities where discussions are more globalised!
19) Autorickshaws
20) Cabs (good old  kala-pilas i.e. black and yellow fiats, cool cabs etc etc)

Friday, April 29, 2011

Facade or Veil?

I'd rather have a facade than  wear a veil!

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Who is a loser?

Note: for some reasons which are more obvious than not, the male gender has been used. However, the same observations are applicable for both the genders.
Definition: A loser is a person who cannot make it in life..Period.

Types of losers:

A) Super Loser: this type of person is a loser who tries so hard to prove that he is not, that he only gives a new definition to the term loser. That is, a super loser. He likes to blame events and people and tries to explain why what happened ( did not happen rather) happened ( did not happen, rather ) . He keeps on raving and ranting and shouting and airing his woes, only not realising that the people who didn't know he was a loser also come to know that he is nothing but one. He is usually a person who people get tired of and flee the moment he comes running to prove that he is not the loser that he is supposed to be. He has an air of self importance self inflicted upon himself due to lack of getting importance from others. He very soon gets used to the idea of self importance only forgetting that it was self imposed, hence meaning that he is actually not important.
B) Loser loser: this type of loser is a person who is a loser and knows he is one... He is such a loser that he doesn't even try to cover up that he is a loser. He usually lends an air of pity to the gang he hangs around with and brings the general morale down. He dresses like a loser in shabby clothes and goes around with a body language of general passiveness. He loves to crib and sulky and pretend that all hell broke loose only on him. Such types of people are very up and about as gossip initiators. They like to talk about negative people and try to sniff out any negativity in the most positive of situations. They are lazy, and resort to loserism just to remain where they are. These kind of people are not worth half a look.
Some peculiarities:
1) Losers are boring people.
2) They are low IQ, so when they are fabricating, they don't know that they aren't making sense.
3) They don't know that more they talk, the more they reveal how pathetic they are.
4) Some of them play with defence mechanism techniques. They want to get to the post before the other and so use all data information to a boring B, to make themselves and people believe that they aren't losers.
5) They have a tendency to hang onto past events and data and are also foolish enough to believe that the other party also has a similar tendency.
6) They have lots and lots of time, as a result of being highly inefficient and people fear to give them work.not
7) They are ignored by most people, so they build up hypothetical database to prove that they have lot of attention.
8) Finally, again they have loads and loads of time.
9) They have loads of time


Wednesday, April 27, 2011

scar or tattoo?

A scar for some may be a tattoo for others!

"The ones who gossip about the ones who gossip"

There are the ones who gossip and the ones who listen to the ones who gossip and come and talk to the one who is gossiped about by the ones who gossip. If that is too complicated, let me explain. Gossip is a two way process and is a dynamic relationship. There are always 2 parties involved.

1) The one (s) who gossip (s ):
Definition: this is a person who has ample time and is usually either in a position of authority got by clout, or stuck in a position because of severe incompetence or ignored by the boss because he belongs to the category ' better left alone than waste time to increase efficiency'.
Characteristics: this person is usually a braggart and talks very highly of himself, merely to cover his incompetence. He also has a names dropping tendency, just to tell people ' hey, I may be stuck where I A,m but actually I belong to this gang.' Of course some of the important people whose names he drops in the conversations would have either forgotten him or cut his call the moment the phone rings, or pretend they are out of town if they receive his call.

He/ She loves to talk about personal things at work and usually knows more about people than the concerned people themselves. Having a low I Q level, but being too low IQ to recognise that, he accepts and transmits information without batting an eyelid. Needless to say, 90% of the time, he roams around with wrong information overload.

This kind of person usually relies on half truths as they are forced to be braggarts by nature ( how else does one explain such sheer foolishness and incompetence?) . Slowly these kind of people get used to their own half truths ( when you keep repeating certain things very often, you soon come to believe that they actually happened!).

2) The one(s) who listens to gossip:

Definition:
This kind of person is also highly self rated, due to lack of exposure to quality environments and thinks he/ she doesnt gossip and says so and initiates the very topic of gossip by tacit means. This kind of person usually is ignored on the home front and does not have too many friends due to sheer inability of quality conversation.

Characteristics:

This person is usually a similar loser but in a less consolidated position(e.g. junior).
This person has a habit of dropping into people's cabins or personal hang out groups as a gate crasher and somehow manages to steerthe conversation, tacitly into someone's (who isnt present there) personal life. Once he/she sets the ball rolling, the stories come out from the rest of the gang and ourperson has got a bouquet full of information but obviously sheer lack of understanding will make him/her give her own colour to the whole story.

This kind of person doesnt stop there. The next stop is with the person who was gossipped about. By omehow pulling and pushing, he/she will come to the point and let the unprepared person have the colourful and coloured (with incompetent understanding0 information.

This kind of person is the most dangerous one and the type to watch out for.

Unsolicited Advice about what to do when you see or encounter or have to encounter:

Type 1)
Shut him/her the very first time with some bitter truths. "One good question would be: " You are free now? You have a lot of free time?"

Ask him/ her a high I Q question regarding work.

Ask him/ her a question about the areas on which you think he has bragged.

these are more than enough to quieten such a person:

Type 2):

Shut him/ her the very first time by saying " how come he speaks all these gossip only to you? Did you ask yourself? How did the topic emerge?

Hey I didnt know there was so much talk about me! Never heard a soul talking about you man! Do you think people find me intriguing?

Noone ever talks to me about others.. i am sure they dont want to talk such low level stuff with me! Thats why you should also work on enhancing your personality.

Give him/ her some links to visit to pass time more positively.

This person won't come to you for some time ( only sometime because due to low IQ level, sense doesnt stay for long and one is sure to come back to level one very soon).  

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Neglect

Neglect is worse than Reprimand!

Worth?

when u are happy
When u aren't meant to be
its worth a thought
To see if u are worth
Of anything better
As u're happy, whatever?
Is it because u pretend
then there's hope, friend!
Because in your mind
you will still surely find
A restless , burning desire
To quell the rising fire.
To say ' no' to current fare
And seek a greener pasture
My mind doesn't settle
I want to prove my mettle.
Let me out , let me flY
Let me go, reach the sky.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Victim or Hero?

Don't hide the victim in you so well that you are mistaken for a Hero! 

Friday, April 15, 2011

Position Location

If you have reached the recycle bin from the desktop, something got you there. Don't try to get back!

Monday, April 11, 2011

Loyalty

loyalty is when you press your office swipe card to your doorbell and wonder why its not opening!

Security

Security is when it is known that there is Noone to pay ransom if you are kidnapped.

Insulation

Insulation is the best prevention!

Friday, April 8, 2011

Attention

Definition: Attention is a condition which gets manifested by others' comments and appreciation on oneself.

Characteristics: Attention is indirectly proportional to itself. To elaborate, more you give attention to others, less you get attention fom them. Lesser you give attention to others, more you get attention from them.

Types of attention seekers:

1) The "am all over" types; These people are conspicuous and make their presence so felt that people get used to seeing them and having them around.Even if they are very talented and competent, people take them for granted for their over- exposure. These people have no aura as they are at the beck and call of everyone and are willing to do things and help others at the drop of a hat. These are the poeple who get very little attention .

2) The good looking ones; These people get attention from everybody, at least initially. Because of their good looks they catch everyone's eye but in many cases the attention is shortlived when people see their true selves. These kind of people are so used to attention that they seek it constantly and try very hard to remain in attention but often go overboard.

3) The 'pseudo low profile types: These people maintain a low profile just to create an aura and mystery around them so that people wonder about them and seek them. Many a times such people are successful in getting attention but being pseudo attention seekers, they dont last too long in the minds of others and soon people get bored of their pretentious low profile or forget about them as they are not interesting enough to be missed.

Who gets attention:

1) People who keep a low profile, throughout and talk less and flash less. Society wonders about such people and try very hard to find out what is the person upto. There is alsways a  general curiosity about them.

2) People who do not pry into other people's business: People are generally eager to connect to such people and give them information about themselves as they make a difference by falling into the rare slot of people who havent asked them curious questions.

3)  People who keep low profiles on social networks.

4) People who generally talk less.

3) People who either dress very weirdly or very well. 

Monday, April 4, 2011

Social Networking

Definition; Social Networking means being extra social on the net with friends, half of whom you haven't met physically and being extra unsocial off it ( in real life with real friends).
Note on social Networking:
Iits a new age phenomenon which has caught up with ages ranging from 9 to 99 and is highly beneficial for one's self esteem. More the number of friends, more your esteem.
Recent research shows that  lots of men and women have gained self esteem merely by being active on social networks. Its a truly virtual way to achieve real happiness!

Types of social networkers:

A) The Classy Flasher: This is a person who is generally happy and content with life, both on the career and personal front and is a little proud of this fact. He usually has a goodlooking spouse and goodlooking kids, a nice house, fabulous holidays and an array of hobbies., which gives him work life balance. He writes intellectual posts which reinforce his thoroughbred upbringing and  and has a cosmopolitan network of friends commenting on them.
B) The Neo Classy Flasher: This person is also a flasher but usually flashes things which he has acquired just for his profile. His pics consist of lopsided poses with modern looking ( which he may not otherwise wear on a daily basis) clothes, clicked just to give a false impression. He thrives on the commentary received on his posts and photos ( usually like 'cool', 'fab', 'se..y, 'hot, etc... )
His posts are usually sayings he only half believes in. His friends usually are a regional lot, belonging to his hometown, but he is forever sending friend requests to people who he thinks are more happening, just to give himself an air of style.
C) The Neo focused one: This one's an introvert and doesn't put up photos or posts. He usually has one or two focused interests and may put up a few links/ photos in connection to this. He is a dry person, but with an innate sense of humour. He may comment on a few posts but make them look intellectual, as if trying to prove that he is interested in the post/ photos/ link out of intellectual interest. Friends usually forget about the existence of this one but he is a silent observer and nothing flees his attention. If you happen to bump into this kind of person even once in 6 odd months, he will reveal,to your utter surprise that he has remembered every post and deletion that you have made. This one's one to watch out for!

D) The Boringly Cautious One:This kind of person usually belongs to the female category. Usually little good looking and sought after, she gets lots of online request as well as interests. This one has a very guarded and private profile as she believes that all are out to stalk her and admire her unnecessarily. Her walls and posts are available only to select people. Ultimately many people forget her existence, but the curiosity level of this person should also not be undermined, as she usually prowls on profiles to check if she has missed anything. This kind of person is usually more active than she wants to reveal.
E)The Dumb Ones: These are people with completely open profiles for being not too net savvy. Their profiles are open to all and sundry . However, usually there isn't too much interesting info to dwell on.

Some advantages of social networking:

1) Tracing old friends who hardly knew you but now swarm around you like flies do around sweets.
2) Getting ready appreciation and attention for any posts, photos that you upload.
3) If you put up a bad post, at least 2 of your 200 friends will like and comment, hence making you feel good.
4) Getting steady stream of information from all and sundry by following their daily schedules right from what they had for breakfast to how they visited the loo 8 times and still survived water loss to the clothes they wore ( as seen on photos) to various parties/ outings and how bad ( or sometimes good) they looked.
5) Selling something that may not be too high quality but because of the general appreciative nature of social networkers, which gets bought for more sum of money than it deserved.
Tips to up your social networking skills:
1) Put up posts which create some kind of intrigue. It invites bored people to comment and makes you feel important.
2) Copy paste intellectual posts. You will get a few responses from people who also want to show that they understand and identify with your post.
3) After a hectic comments spree lie low for somedays. There will be messages on your wall asking where you are is everything all right, hence making you feel important and good.
4) Click some snaps with ur mobile phone cam every now and then laughing and giggling like u would have done if you were a model and as if you generally are a very bubble and happy person . You will receive lots of comments.
5) Put some divine quotes on your profile page, to cast an impression on people.
6) Join some impressive groups, which will reflect your interests and present you as a well rounded person.
8) If you find all of the above failing, poke ( or similar tool) a few friends to jog them out of sleep. Then comment on their walls.
Some general characteristics of social networking profiles:
1) Everyone looks happy. All are either taking vacations or are generally happy in life..ok they have photos of either one or lots of foreign holidays and seems to be having a rocking life.
2) All photos receive positive comments.
3) Everyone has profound interest in serious books.
4) Interest in good cause as shown by links.

Integration

Integration of 0 to 2008 fx dx +integration of 2008 to 2011 fxdx = independent chaos + captive creativity, where x stands for years of life.

Life Plane!

One wrong coordinate is likely to lead to the next wrong coordinate and before you realise it your life graph is on a wrong tangent! Choose your first life coordinates carefully so you do not land up in the wrong plane!

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Vulnerability

What makes one vulnerable?
Weakness .
How does one define weakness?
Lack of a strong socially acceptable status.
Lack of adequate finances.
Being a woman in a male dominated society.
However there are two states of vulnerability. One is the assumed (by others) state and the other is the really vulnerable state where one is not able to make accurate or robust decisions in a given context.
Both states are not great to be in as if one is assumed to be vulnerable when one is actually not, its unacceptable to teh other parties when such a person suddenly proves them wrong.
When one is really vulnerable, there is a high propensity of them to be taken for a ride and fall into states of peril.
So poor are those who are vulnerable! May god help them!

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Fear

its thirst for freedom of expression that has led me here.
Freedom for everyone has different meanings. For some its the ability to dress as they want to, for others its the ability to do what they want to do... for me its the ability to express what they want to without fear. Fear is the worst enemy, it is said.
Living in fear is like living like a corpse. You breathe but there is no life..you laugh but its not full thoated. You do things but there's no energy.